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In her 2024 Salem Peace Lecture, Roxy Manning, PhD, spoke about ways we can strengthen our democracy by using Nonviolent Communication and dialogue practices. It was a powerful reminder of many lessons I’ve learned from our mutual friend and mentor, Sarah Peyton. However, the point that resonated with me the most was the distinction between negative and positive peace.
So often in relationships, communities, and even society at large, we see the absence of conflict and assume that means peace. But we’ve all known couples who seemed strong from the outside, only to later discover that beneath the surface, unhealthy power dynamics or even abuse were present. Similarly, in communities, we often self-segregate into groups of like-minded individuals, mistaking the absence of disagreement for harmony.
This kind of superficial calm is what we call negative peace. It refers to the absence of open conflict, but it doesn’t address the deeper issues of inequity, injustice, or disconnection. It’s a fragile, temporary state that can easily unravel.
By contrast, positive peace is more than the absence of conflict. It’s the presence of justice, equity, and connection. It requires actively working toward understanding, fairness, and healing. Positive peace is rooted in the idea that peace must be cultivated through ongoing dialogue, empathy, and action. It’s the kind of peace we need in our relationships, communities, and especially in our democracy.
So, how can we foster positive peace in our daily lives?
Here are a few practical steps:
Engage in difficult conversations with empathy
Instead of avoiding conflict, lean into it with compassion. Whether in personal relationships or community settings, try to approach disagreements with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Listen to understand, not just to respond. Nonviolent Communication techniques can help create a safe space for both sides to express their feelings and needs.
Challenge power imbalances
Positive peace requires addressing underlying injustices. Be aware of the ways power is distributed in your relationships and communities. Ask yourself: Whose voices aren’t being heard? Whose needs aren’t being met? Advocate for inclusion and equity and be willing to share or shift power when necessary. This can feel risky, but it is also a gift that brings greater health.
Build bridges across differences
It’s easy to retreat into like-minded circles, but true peace requires bridging divides. When we reach out to people who think differently from us we can engage in dialogue that respects diverse perspectives and seeks common ground. In a polarized world, this can feel difficult, but it’s essential for a healthy society, family, and community of any kind.
Practice self-awareness and accountability
Peace starts from within. Take time to reflect on your own triggers, biases, and communication patterns. We all have them. Understanding them helps us see when we unintentionally contribute to disconnection or conflict. No matter our age or stage, it is important that we continue to grow and deepen our self-awareness if we are going to have healthy relationships.
Create spaces for inclusive dialogue
Whether it’s in your family, workplace, or community, encourage open dialogue. Create spaces where people feel safe to share their views, and make sure all voices are valued. This is why we are using the Respectful Communication Guidelines created by the Kaleidescope Institute in Council and Congregational Meetings. It is also why I am a huge fan of Restorative Circles.
Dr. Manning’s lecture was a reminder that peace is not a passive state but an active process. If we want a healthier democracy and stronger relationships, we need to engage in the ongoing work of cultivating positive peace—by fostering empathy, advocating for justice, and building bridges across divides.
In the end, positive peace is not just about avoiding conflict but transforming how we engage with one another. It’s about creating communities where everyone can thrive, feel heard, and live with dignity. This was at the heart of Jesus' teachings—he didn’t shy away from difficult conversations or injustices but sought to build peace through love, compassion, and a commitment to justice.
Let’s commit to taking these steps, not just for ourselves but for the future of our congregation, our community, our families, and our democracy.
To Positive Peace,
Pastor Robin
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